Friday 5: Sex Sells, But That Doesn’t Mean It Should

Friday 5 is our weekly list of altogether useless information that you can’t live without.

It’s one of the oldest adages of advertising, perhaps because it’s related to one of the oldest pastimes: sex sells. Two disturbing items in the news this week seek to prove that it’s true.

First, prophylactic purveyor Trojan gave away thousands of — ahem — appliances to New Yorkers via “pleasure carts” designed to resemble hot dog stands. (Perhaps in this case, it’s more accurate to say hot dogs sell, but we’d have to do more research to determine which was the stronger hook.)

Made you look!

Then there’s this item about a new cereal that claims to promote better sexual health (CNN’s Anderson Cooper dubbed them “porn flakes”). I personally have my doubts about this one because if you eat that much bee pollen, wheat germ, maca, cacao nibs, chia, nuts and seeds, the resulting gastric response is not likely to turn on either you or your partner.

But both stories just go to show you that marketers are not afraid to dress up their products in new lingerie, so to speak, in order to get the attention of an increasingly distant, disinterested consumer public.

This got me to thinking, though, that there must be certain products and services in which sex would not be a successful marketing ploy. Certainly there’s a line that can’t be crossed, and crossing it is what this week’s Friday 5 is all about:

1. Diapers. When new parents are changing a dirty diaper for the 20th time that day, the last thing they want to think about is what got them into that mess to begin with.
2. Political candidates. Former New York Rep. Anthony Weiner discovered that showing the goods on social media is not the path to political power, in spite of having a name that is perfectly suited to such a publicity ploy.
3. Church membership. Sure, some people describe their most intimate moments as religious experiences and even inappropriately invoke the deity’s name at said moments, but this is simply not a good idea.
4. Certain food items. Sex might help sell an otherwise unappetizing granola cereal, but for some foods — from melons to bananas — it’s just too close for comfort. And if your product happens to be vienna sausages, well, you’re just really out of luck.
5. Blogs. This one is Exhibit A.