Robert J. Holland

Friday 5: Worst Attempts at Creating Facebook Envy

In Friday 5, Unsociable Media on January 25, 2013 at 8:33 am

Friday 5 is our weekly list of altogether useless information that you can’t live without.

If seeing pictures of your college sorority sister’s latest weekend ski trip to Vail with her GQ model boyfriend sends you into a jealous rage followed by a deep hatred of your own life, well, you are not alone. Welcome to Facebook envy.

It’s the latest of a growing list of maladies created by social media. German researchers found that 1 in 5 people last experienced feelings of jealousy while perusing Facebook. Not only that, but to combat these feelings, we employ what researchers call the “self-promotion envy cycle.” That is, we start posting hype about ourselves that may or may not be true, but that is designed to make our Facebook friends jealous.

I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg ever thought this would happen when he invented Facebook. Yeah, probably. The little weasel.

This self-promotion envy cycle could lead people to do some pretty outrageous things. This week’s Friday 5 are the worst attempts at creating Facebook envy. Not that I have ever done any of these things. Well, not all of them.

  1. Creating a dozen new Facebook accounts under fake names and then using them to “like” your own posts.
  2. Photoshopping your current face onto photos of your body from your college spring break trip and claiming the photos were taken on your recent beach vacation.
  3. Combing through the alumni news from your college alumni magazine and reworking them to be your status updates.
  4. Downloading pictures from the Aeropostale Kids website and passing them off as your own children.
  5. Posting a food photo from a four-star restaurant and claiming it’s what you whipped up for dinner tonight; and, when challenged, claiming the restaurant paid you to put it on their menu.
  1. Great post, Robert. As if we do not have enough neuroses, along comes FB Envy. Who knew? Add to that people who consistently post their political dogma as if we care. I have blocked so many status updates for that reason. I look forward to more Friday 5s.

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